A US visa application on a whim, a toddler mid-vomit, a lost battle with a service charge.
Welcome to Outgoings, a weekly series where we speak to Yonder members about her weekly outgoings. Real people, real money, real spending habits.
This week: This week: a 37-year old casting assistant in North London, in her last week of maternity leave, with her best friend in from the States for the week. Coffees, soft play, an unplanned wellness spa day, one very good Greek dinner, and somewhere between the nappy cream and the birthday cocktails, a £462 US visa application. A genuinely fun week that also, by her own admission, blew straight through the budget. Let's get into it.
Key facts
Diarist: 37, casting director currently on maternity leave
Location: North London (lives with her husband, 13-month-old daughter, and their mini schnauzer)
Salary: £30-60k
Biggest spend: £462.04 (a US visa application for her husband)
Smallest spend: £0.79 (organic bananas)
I'm 37, and until very recently my day-to-day was all things casting assistant for shoots and auditions. It's been a wonderful year taking care of my daughter and watching her grow, and now that she's old enough to start nursery, it's time to find my next casting gig.
I live in North London with my husband, our 13-month-old daughter, and our five-year-old mini schnauzer. My relationship with money is: I love it, I spend it, and I'm working on learning how to save it. I also have a season ticket for the Tube and buses, so you won't see every single tap show up here because they're already paid for.
This week was never going to be a normal one. It's my last week of maternity leave, and one of my best friends from home in the US flew in with her one-year-old daughter to visit, so there was a lot of YOLO energy going in. I was already anticipating coffee breaks, lunches, soft play and park visits, and probably a few "treat yo'self" moments, especially with a friend's birthday landing mid-week too.
Take-home: £2-4k / month · Rent/mortgage: £1k–£2k · Week total: £1,242.57 · Transactions: 31
Day 01 · Monday · Muswell Hill & Richmond — £91.58
A long but fun day ahead: meeting a friend out in Richmond to hang out and take the girls to a playground. It's a gorgeous day and Richmond Park is one of my favourite places in London. Hoping to stick to a budget of £50 or less.
09:34 · £7 — A flat white and a bottle of water. Bought from a coffee spot at the Tube station, with my daughter in her pram. Went for a flat white instead of my usual latte so it'd be easier to handle and finish sooner, cold water for the journey and the hot day ahead. Feeling: good.
11:01 · £4.60 — An iced chai latte. From one of my favourite coffee shops in Richmond before the 30-minute walk to the playground. Paid on my Yonder card for the extra points. Feeling: a smart decision.
13:58 · £63.00 — Lunch at an independent pub near the park. Went for lunch after watching my daughter properly enjoy a playground for the first time. Really pleased it wasn't a chain. My friend's going to transfer me £22 for her portion, so it's about £41 for me and my daughter. Feeling: a little guilty; it shot straight through my projected budget. £41 felt like a lot for lunch, but it was for the two of us.
15:38 · £6.10 — Dessert. Walked past an Ottolenghi and couldn't resist. Asked for it to takeaway, planning to share it with my husband later. Feeling: like my friend might have joined in on buying something too, and then didn't. Whatever, haha.
16:03 · £10.88 — Woven storage baskets. I got them from a homeware shop that's basically an IKEA I actually like: whimsical cottage-core rather than boring minimalist basics. Glad to have found something cute and affordable to organise my daughter's toys, and lucky to have made the purchase right before a child projectile-vomited at the till next to me. Yikes.
End-of-day note: Had a really fun outing and am totally exhausted. Setting a budget is harder than I imagined, and I think this week is going to be especially hard with my friend here. Let's see what happens.
Day 02 · Tuesday · Muswell Hill — £31.64
Is it terrible that I'm still thinking about the price of yesterday's lunch? The service charge is what threw me, and I can't decide if I'm okay with that being added nowadays. As an American, I understand tipping culture, but I'm not sure it should be added automatically like that here. No idea how to politely ask for it to come off the bill, so I guess I'm stuck with it.
09:06 · £4 — A latte at my local favourite bakery. This was for a terribly short coffee date with my visiting friend. We both arrived later than planned, and ten minutes later I had to shoot off to get my daughter to her first nursery settling-in day. Feeling: very good. Always a little luxury to grab a latte from a coffee shop.
13:36 · £19.99 — A two-pack of plastic baby bottles from a pharmacy. Grabbed on the high street after the settling-in day for my daughter to use at nursery. Feeling: like I could have found them cheaper on Amazon.
20:04 · £7.95 — Milk and tiramisu cups. I picked them up after a curry dinner that my friends covered. Milk for our girl, tiramisu for a cheeky dessert. Feeling: good, good.
End-of-day note: It was a successful day all around. Came in under budget today, though I realise we didn't actually pay for dinner.
Day 03 · Wednesday · Muswell Hill & London Zoo — £61.65
Nothing really planned yet, so let's go for morning coffee and see what's on the docket today.
09:41 · £4.10 — A latte at a coffee shop. I used to frequent this coffee shop more on my old commutes, and happy to report the coffee's still delicious. My whole family, dog included, met up with my visiting friends, and it was a much less frantic meet-up than yesterday's. Feeling: good, it didn't disappoint.
10:45 · £46.10 — A grocery haul at M&S. Treated ourselves to the nice stuff, since it was just for snacks and lunches. Feeling: how can I never leave M&S without spending at least twenty-five quid?
15:17 · £4.95 — A bubble tea at London Zoo. London Zoo is over 200 years old, who knew? It was hot, and the drink looked refreshing. Feeling: no regrets.
15:35 · £6.50 — Freshly made popcorn at the zoo. The smell was permeating through the whole park. Couldn't say no. Feeling: so satisfying, though I should've got the smaller bag.
End-of-day note: This one's a little tricky to account for, because my friend covered some things. I'm sure a payback bill will arrive once she's home, so there's a bit of context lost here. We bought a family ticket into the zoo, which was a real saving: £25 instead of £40 a head. They also got us dinner from our favourite fish and chip shop, £35. I won't count either towards the total, but I'll mention them for storyline purposes.
Day 04 · Thursday · Central London — £358.84
Treat yo'self day! My friend has booked us a luxurious massage at a wellness spa, and we're so excited to leave the kids with the dads and enjoy some much-needed relaxation time. Looking forward to quality time with her and some by myself. We'll be in central London with no need to rush back to the girls, so here's to seeing what we get up to.
08:50 · £7.50 — A latte and, honestly, the best croissant in town. Eaten while devising a plan to actually get to the spa. It's raining, there are bus strikes, and a fire on the Tube line we need. My friend's called an Uber. Feeling: a great decision for the Uber ride, though I am getting a little motion sick writing this.
11:05 · £37.75 — A birthday gift. Snuck in just before my massage while my friend was still in hers. Feeling: it doesn't match the generosity of her gifting me a massage today, but hoping it's the thought that counts, and that she likes her little memento from our day out.
11:08 · £27.50 — A delicious fruit compote for home, from a farm shop. Just decadent, and so nice with cottage cheese. Feeling: spent too much, but hoping to stretch it out over the next few months, until my mum comes to visit.
11:49 · £8.44 — A healthy fresh juice. Had to have something right before the massage. Feeling: the service charge on a pre-made drink… hmmmmmm. Don't love it.
15:04 · £8.80 — Two iced lattes. To refuel us while we shopped. Feeling: happy to treat us to this little indulgence.
16:04 · £29.00 — A slotted spoon and some little hair ties for my daughter, at a department store. I really enjoy department stores. It's so easy to wander round and grab things you've been meaning to buy, without having to order them online. Feeling: the good old days of instant gratification.
19:39 · £239.85 — Greek food in Muswell Hill. A night out with our visiting friends and it was our turn to pick up the bill. Feeling: a big spend, but delicious food and great memories made.
End-of-day note: What a fun outing with my friend, felt like old times. I think I resisted spending more than I could have today, so it's nice to see I still have some self-control. Obviously the dinner was pricey, but we knew that was coming.
Day 05 · Friday · Muswell Hill & Marylebone — £141.19
It's my friend's birthday, and my mum's birthday too! Feeling very celebratory, and like it's been a fun week.
09:09 · £1.75 — Bus fare. Raced to catch the bus so we wouldn't be late for our coffee date. Feeling: annoyed, because my season pass didn't work on this particular bus, meaning I had to pay for something that should already be covered.
09:12 · £4.10 — A latte. At a coffee shop with a name I can never remember but is very fun to say, meeting up for morning coffee. Feeling: caffeinated and ready for the day.
09:43 · £0.79 — Organic bananas. Feeling: happy my daughter and her little friend will have a yummy breakfast.
09:50 · £8.90 — The most delicious homemade cinnamon buns. They were still warm, also had to sneak in a garlic one which tasted like a garlic knot, something London is sadly missing from its food scene. Feeling: elated. I need to open a slice-pizza joint and get that trend going too.
11:46 · £15.89 — Sanitising wipes and nappy cream. Quick pit stop for the endless supplies you need with a baby. Feeling: good about the decision. It's more inconvenient not to have these things than it is to spend the money making sure they're within reach.
22:04 · £92.09 — The birthday girl's dinner. We went to an Italian restaurant in Marylebone with my visiting friend and another best friend. A fabulous night of Italian food, cocktails, and dessert. Feeling: like I knew this would be the big spend of the day.
23:32 · £17.67 — A banana cocktail from a fun speakeasy nearby. Smooth and unique. Feeling: like I'm in my twenties again.
End-of-day note: Home past midnight. Hoping I don't regret all this in the morning.
Day 06 · Saturday · Muswell Hill — £82.64
Tired after a poor night's sleep and feeling a little worse for wear, but hoping to keep the budget tighter today, since I don't imagine I'll be doing much.
10:30 · £18.50 — Coffees and pastries. A full family outing back to our favourite bakery for breakfast, eating under their awning since it's finally raining. Feeling: always good. Honestly, this bakery takes so much of my money I wish I could have been an investor.
16:20 · £36.00 — An indoor soft play session. Met with friends to take the girls somewhere dry from the rain, though every other parent had the same idea, and it got a bit chaotic. Feeling: probably wasn't the best £18 a child I've spent, when I could have just played with her at home.
19:07 · £28.14 — Dinner. Had at a pub with a seafood-only menu, needed after the chaos of soft play. Feeling: just okay. I'd hoped to spend less.
End-of-day note: I was happy I had some time to relax, and that I missed the clothes-shopping portion of the day. I would have been far too tempted, so in theory I saved money there.
Day 07 · Sunday · Muswell Hill — £475.03
Today is going to be a relaxing day. I am spent. (Pun intended.)
03:47 · £12.99 — A recurring subscription for the scheduling app we use for our daughter. Feeling: all good and accounted for each month. New parents will pay for anything that helps keep their heads on straight.
16:41 · £462.04 — A US visa application, for my husband. Completely unforeseen, but we were influenced by our visiting friends to look into it. Plus, no foreign transaction fees using my Yonder card, woohoo. Feeling: guess this will come out of our savings. An investment in our future.
End-of-day note: Last day of this exercise, and I have to say, I really enjoyed it. It was a unique week that felt a bit like a holiday with friends, but I also think it helped me realise what was realistic for the budget, and what was an indulgence. It's all about discipline.
What the week says
Three things stayed with us after reading it.
The favour economy. So much of this week ran on an invisible second ledger. A friend covers a curry dinner, a family zoo ticket, a fish and chips run; she quietly worries a £37 birthday gift doesn't "match" the massage she was just treated to, then picks up a £240 Greek dinner because it was, finally, her turn. None of that shows up cleanly in a weekly total, but it's arguably the real story of the week: a running tally of who looked after whom, paid back not in cash but in turn-taking.
The £1.75 that mattered more than the £462. The most emotionally loud entry of the week is a bus fare that shouldn't have been charged at all, and a service charge she can't quite make peace with, twice. The most expensive entry (a £462 US visa application, filed at 4:41pm on a Sunday) barely gets a reaction beyond "guess this will come out of our savings." Big, unplanned, life-shaping spends can pass almost calmly; it's the small, avoidable ones that actually needle.
A week that knew what it was. She called it going in: YOLO energy, a friend visiting, a budget she suspected wouldn't survive contact with the week. It didn't, £1,242.57 against whatever the £50-a-day instinct from Monday implied, but she'd named the trade-off before she made it, and stands by it after. Not every over-spent week is a mystery. Some of them are decided in advance, eyes open, on purpose.
The reflections
Most defended: "The US visa came out of nowhere, as in we had it in mind on our to-do list but it wasn't a priority. However, since our friends were visiting and sharing the lengthy waiting process some of their friends are currently experiencing, we figured we should get this going in the background of our lives, so we're not stressed if and when we decide to move there. Bit TMI, but you asked!"
Quietly taken back: "The pub lunch on Monday. I think it wasn't worth that much, and I could have saved some money there to spend later in the week."
Almost spent on, didn't: "Honestly, so many things. I keep so many tabs open on my phone as a sort of 'wish list' of things I may buy if it fits in the budget. Some of those things right now: a monthly membership to a Pilates gym, a private physio appointment, a teether and a raincoat for my daughter. The list of wants and needs never ends."
Surprising: "This was an extravagant week. It felt like it had a YOLO energy, and even with that energy I was trying not to overdo it. Here and there, a lot of money was spent, but in the next two weeks we'll be more frugal. You really do only live once, and you don't want to miss out on the memories you can make with the ones you love the most."
Outgoings is a weekly diary series from Yonder. Every Thursday, one anonymous member takes us through a week of their spending life. To write one, submit an application here.
